My cloth looked perfect to me. It was different from the one our neighbor’s daughter has but of course it also looked the same after all its been sold in the same market and it has the universal name of “readymade”. My shoes were laid down and even the laced socks looked ready to go. Singing was not really my thing but as I always strive to make my voice heard. It was not the first time I would be a part of a choir but today is indeed special because according to sister Gee all she needed was my charismatic personality. For all I cared my ever croaky voice would not be a hindrance to my performance. After several rehearsals I got a grip on how wide she wants us to stretch our hands, how tall she wants us to be and how strong she wants us to flex our non – existent muscle. Our song was not complicated and the message was indeed simple.
My God is so big,
So strong and so mighty,
There’s nothing my God cannot do!
Fast forward to over a decade after, I cannot say I am really grown because my daddy reminds too often of how I am still his little girl; more often than necessary, I tend to feel like Miss Independent even though my folks still pay the bills. All I can say is I now have troubles I can proudly personalize to myself and sometimes I feel like I carry all life’s burden. The other day, I remember sitting in church and a group of cuties between the ages of 5 and 9 enthusiastically sang the same song with the same or even a little more enthusiasm than I sang it. I clapped after the presentation and I murmured “uhn-uhn” with the rest of the congregation and even had a long conversation with my friends on how cute those children were. I was also wondering about the same thing you might have in mind now. What changed?
My God did not change, He remains faithful. Did I grow up? Hold on, even if I am maturing in age am I not expected to mature in my relationship with my heavenly father? If he was this big while I was younger,why does He not seem bigger to me now as a young adult? The only reasonable explanation I can offer is that I have put my so – very – big God in a box just because as a young adult I think I can fix my issues all by myself now. Some issues I take straight to him while most of the other issues I try to figure it out all by myself and I make God my last call when He’s supposed to be my first call.
Personally, it’s been a roller-coaster of a year and in several situations as the months rolled by I have consciously and unconsciously put my God in a very small box. As soon as I snapped back to reality I feel terribly bad about limiting the All – powerful God. Let’s talk, how have you limited the BIG BIG GOD and really how does it feel when you’re out of your “independent” state.
Isaiah 40: 28 (NIV)
“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.”
Until next time,